Feeling stuck in life, but don’t know what to do about it? This seems to be the theme at the moment with many people! So many of my clients and friends are feeling stagnant with jobs, relationships, and careers. There are thoughts of wanting to change and not being happy, but also being scared of letting go of the status quo or not knowing how to change. If this is you, you’re not alone.
Why do you feel stuck?
The first question to ask yourself is why you feel stuck in the first place? What is actually the cause of dissatisfaction, frustration, or unhappiness that you might be feeling? From my experience, the presenting problem is never the real problem. There are always underlying reasons why you might be feeling the way you are (root cause).
What is holding you back from change?
Often when we are unhappy we know we need to change, but the fear of change holds us at a standstill. You might know you need to leave your unhealthy relationship for example, but the fear of starting over again and moving out on your own is terrifying. Or you might be totally unhappy at work, but the threat of having to pay bills and provide for the family might keep you from taking risks. By bringing what is holding you back into the light, you can start to understand the reasons why you are staying in this position perhaps longer than you would like.
Where your focus goes, energy flows
Whatever you focus your mind on grows bigger, to the exclusion of everything else. When you focus on all the problems, unhappy feelings, and the fears that you have about change, these things grow bigger in your mind. Whenever you have a thought, the Universe listens, and will give you more of whatever you are thinking about! Just like our phone is always listening to us, and after a particular conversation you will start to see ads popping up about the thing you have been talking about, the Universe does the same. In addition, your mind will start to delete other information (such as solutions and opportunities) that it doesn’t deem relevant to your current mindset or thought process. Instead of focusing on feeling stuck in life, start to ask yourself and your mind, what are the solutions to this problem?
Losing yourself and your identity
When you feel like you’ve lost your sense of Self, purpose, or identity, it can be very hard to see the light through the darkness. If you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, stagnant, anxious, or depressed, these things drain your vital life force energy and lower your vibration. As such, your thoughts will start to be low vibrational thoughts, and the negative downward spiral will continue. If this sounds familiar, your first port of call is to raise your vibration again!
Raise your vibration, shift your energy!
Do things that make you feel good. Eat healthy food, drink plenty of water, and get outside into the sunshine. Start exercising and move your body in a way that feels good! Catch up with your friends and support network, dress well to feel good, and focus on fueling your tank again. Once your energy has been replenished and you’re feeling better within your body, your mind will open up and you’ll be able to think more clearly about your situation again.
Trust in your own ability
When you have self doubt, lack confidence in yourself, or experience imposter syndrome, these things can make it very hard to trust yourself. When you don’t trust yourself, you won’t be in the right headspace to take risks, or take that leap of faith into the unknown that change often requires. If this is you, it can help to break your self-confidence down into bite sized pieces and work your way back up again.
Self confidence is situational
Self confidence is often dependent on the situation. Someone might be totally confident in one aspect of life, but totally not confident in other areas. For example, I am totally confident in a yoga studio, but the first time I walked into a boxing gym, it was very intimidating and scary! Self confidence can also be an upward or downward spiral. The more things you are confident in, the more your overall self confidence will grow. However if you focus on the things you are not confident in, your mind will fixate on those things, and it will lower your overall vibration. As a result, you’ll start to think of yourself as ‘not-confident’. In order to build up your self-confidence, start focusing on the things you are good at and enjoy, and this energy will start to ripple outward into other areas of your life too.
My own personal journey
My first career out of University was corporate human resources, but after 6 years, I felt totally unhappy, stuck in life, and frustrated. The company I was working for at the time was going through a massive restructure and there were a lot of redundancies. I was sick of getting blamed for changes that were not my choice. I was sick of people not taking responsibility, and I absolutely hated corporate politics. Something needed to change. Then one day I hit breaking point, and put in my resignation without having any future plan!
Get a ‘real job’
At that point I had recently started doing my yoga teacher training for my own personal development, but I never really entertained the thought of teaching yoga full time. My typical Chinese Malaysian dad always spouted the importance of getting a ‘real job’, and teaching yoga was definitely not in that category! However after I resigned, I decided that was exactly what I wanted to do. I spent 7 months in another part time HR job while I finished my yoga training, then spent the next almost 10 years teaching yoga and dance full time!
Money or soul calling…or both?
Then came another round of feeling unhappy and stuck again. I felt stagnant, like I wasn’t growing or evolving.. I started playing with the idea of getting into real estate, but at the same time I had been delving more and more into Reiki and energy healing. After bouts of serious illness and healing through energy, it was very clear to me just how incredible energy healing truly was. However real estate promised better financial rewards, so I started a business in property. That lasted all of 6 months, before I realised that my true calling was healing! Once I started my Reiki business, I knew I was on purpose. I had an overwhelming feeling that this was exactly where I was meant to be. When covid hit, that was certainly challenging, but I never once doubted myself. And the funny thing is, when you’re doing what you love, the financial rewards will follow!
The risks were worth it
Now looking back, I can see all those career changes and choices led me to exactly where I am today. I’m grateful for everything I’ve done, as I’m able to talk to many people from all sorts of backgrounds and careers. I’m proud of myself for taking risks, even though they seemed massively outside the box, and definitely outside familial expectation. But it was worth it, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Book in for a Reiki healing or Coaching session
If you need support in making changes in your life, book in for a Coaching session, or a Reiki healing! You don’t have to figure this out on your own! Get the support you need, raise your vibration, and clear any blockages to moving forward. I look forward to supporting you on your journey!
