Grief seems to be a theme this week. It is a culmination of many emotions, and is not something we experience in a linear fashion, or within a specific timeframe.
Grief is before, during, and after
We can experience grief around someone dying, but also loss of hope, a job, a relationship ending (friendship or romantic), a life threatening illness, or any other big life changing circumstances. We can experience grief after something has occurred, but we can also experience grief in the lead up to an event. This might occur when someone is terminally ill, or when we know there’s a big change coming like a relationship break up. We can experience grief straight after an event, but grief also has a habit of popping up when we least expect it, sometimes years after the event has occurred.
Triggers
When we get triggered, grief can feel like a tsunami of emotion. It could be something big like an anniversary, but it could just as easily be something small, such as a smell or a song. Grief can also be triggered in conversation, such as hearing someone else talk about their child, job, relationship, etc.
Dealing with grief
When in the midst of grief, it can be tempting to close off from others, lock yourself inside, and try to cope with it all on your own. Others might try to deal with grief by avoiding or denying their emotions, invoking coping mechanisms such as becoming really busy, working all the time, drinking or smoking, or taking it out on other people.
Acknowledging your feelings
The key to dealing with grief, is first acknowledging what it is that you’re actually experiencing. If we don’t know what it is, it is impossible to release it. Once you become aware that what you’re going through is grief, you can then take steps to allow the emotions to come up, then let them go. It can be really uncomfortable sitting in grief. It can feel awful, painful and surreal, like what has happened isn’t real. But as hard and difficult as it is, the only way forward is through the emotion. Hiding away or repressing it won’t help in the long run.
Support through compassion
As a society, we need to be more aware of grief and the emotions it encompasses, such as anger, frustration, sadness, feeling empty, denial and more. From the outside looking in, we never really know what someone is going through or feeling, as each person experiences grief differently. All we can do is support them by being compassionate and understanding, and allowing people to go through grief in their own time.
How to get through grief
If you are going through grief, there are some more helpful things you can do to help yourself process these emotions. Counselling or coaching, Reiki healing, meditation and yoga, journaling, talking with a friend, getting outside in the fresh air, exercise, and eating healthy nourishing food can all help. Drinking plenty of water, and allowing yourself the time and space to feel all your emotions, without being hard on yourself, or putting pressure on yourself to just ‘get over it’.
Healing grief with Reiki
If you are struggling with grief, I would encourage you to book in for a Coaching or Reiki healing session. Whenever I have gone through grief, Reiki healing has been an absolute catalyst to helping me process my emotions and make it through the other side. If you have any questions about grief, you can contact me here.