Owning our emotions is taking full responsibility for how we feel. In our everyday life, it’s so easy to blame others for ‘making’ us feel a certain way. The other day a car cut me off in traffic and I became annoyed at the driver. But if I hadn’t been running so late that day, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal. A friend cancelled plans on me last minute over the weekend and it was annoying for sure! But if I hadn’t changed my plans for this person in the first place, it wouldn’t have been quite so frustrating. In both of these situations, it would have been so easy to point the finger at other people for how I felt. However, when I examined what exactly I was reacting to, I realised it was myself.
Owning your emotions is empowering
Taking responsibility for our own emotional state moves us out of victim mode. It allows us to step into a position of self-empowerment. Rather than holding onto anger, frustration, and annoyance, we can let those emotions pass through us. We can then move into acceptance, choice and pro-active action. As human beings, we have a wide range of emotions both good and bad. But understanding that our emotions are our responsibility is vital for our mental and emotional wellbeing.
Blaming other people or things is easy
I listened to a podcast recently by Peter Crone, a spiritual life coach who is also a yoga teacher. He told a story of a guy who had never done yoga before coming to class for the first time. This guy said ‘argh, downward dog is so hard!’ Peter took a moment before responding ‘actually, downward dog is just a shape, it’s your hamstrings that are tight. That is why you are finding this pose so challenging!’
It becomes so easy to blame our external surroundings, other people, the weather, the yoga pose. But in that moment, we give our power away. It’s like saying my partner, my parents, or my boss is responsible for making me feel happy. As soon as we put our emotional state in the hands of someone else, we lose control. We end up feeling helpless, stuck and even anxious or depressed.
Taking responsibility is owning our emotions
In the situation where my friend cancelled our plans last minute, I allowed myself to feel a little frustrated. Then I took a deep breath and asked myself what exactly was I reacting to in this situation? I realised it was my lack of speaking up for what I wanted in the first place that was triggering me. Once I had realised that, I decided to let go of annoyance, and embrace the freedom that came with having no plans. I went for a walk along the beach, which I really enjoyed, and ended up having a really lovely afternoon. I also made a decision to speak up for what I wanted next time.
In the situation where the car cut me off, I realised that I needed to leave a little more time to get to work. That way I wouldn’t arrive rushed and stressed. I have now set my alarm a little earlier to ensure this can happen, and I feel so much more relaxed about the journey to work now.
What are you really reacting to?
In any moment where we feel triggered or emotional, take a deep breath and ask yourself: what am I really reacting to in this situation? Once you know what the underlying cause is, you can let go of the emotion and move forward with more ease. If you can take the learning from that situation forward into the rest of your day, then that experience has become even more valuable.
Reiki to shift your perspective
If you feeling stuck, helpless or like the world is against you, perhaps Reiki can help. Reiki can assist you to shift your perspective, go deeper within yourself so that you can create a better understanding, and rise back up into a position of self-empowerment. When you have more emotional responsibility, you will ne able to live life on your terms, and there is no better feeling that that. To book in for a Reiki healing, click here.