The Lesson That Keeps Coming Back
The lesson that keeps coming back is the one we haven’t yet mastered…
A few weeks ago, I emailed my regular Saturday clients to let them know I would be reducing my working hours. I’d thought about it for months. I’d weighed up the pros and cons, and worried about disappointing people. There were questions in my mind of whether it was the right decision or not.
But eventually, after a lot of reflection, I hit send. What happened next surprised me.
I expected a few disappointed replies. Maybe some frustration. Perhaps a couple of people who would be annoyed that they could no longer book their preferred appointment time.
Instead, something completely different happened. One after another, clients replied saying things like:
“I’m glad you’re taking more time for yourself.”
“You work too hard.”
“It’s good you’re putting yourself first.”
“You deserve more balance.”
And if I’m honest, it hit a nerve. Not because they were wrong. But because even they could see it.
Haven’t I Learned This Already?
As I sat reading those emails, I found myself laughing (and maybe also some tears too!). Not because it was funny, because this is a lesson I’ve been learning for YEARS.
I teach this stuff. I talk about boundaries and self-care. I talk about people pleasing, and help clients identify these patterns all the time. And yet here I was again, standing face-to-face with the same freaking lesson.
Or so it seemed.
For a moment I felt frustrated. Shouldn’t I be past this by now? Haven’t I already learned this lesson? I’ve changed so much, doing more self care now than ever, yet why is it still reappearing again?
But the more I reflected, the more I realised something important. The lesson wasn’t coming back because I hadn’t learned it. The lesson was coming back because I was ready to learn it at a deeper level.
Healing Doesn’t Work The Way We Think
One of the biggest misconceptions about healing is that eventually you stop encountering the lesson.
In my experience, that’s not what happens unfortunately!. The lesson keeps showing up. The difference is that you recognise it sooner, recover faster, and respond differently.
Ten years ago, I ignored the signs (and severely burnt out). Four years ago, I pushed through exhaustion and convinced myself I was fine (hello, Kundalini).
This time, I listened. I changed my schedule, I adjusted my priorities and I finally made a decision that honoured what I needed rather than what I thought everyone else needed from me.
That’s progress and growth right there. Not perfection (I’m a messy human too)! But growth.
The Surface Lesson Versus The Real Lesson
For years, I thought this lesson was about working too hard. On one level, it was. I’ve always been someone who throws myself wholeheartedly into whatever I’m passionate about (and I LOVE spirituality and Reiki if you couldn’t tell!).
Whether it was corporate HR, teaching yoga, building my Reiki business, running Reiki courses, supporting clients, or creating new projects, I’ve always given things my all. Part of that is simply who I am.
I’ve also got a fiery Sagittarius nature. I get super excited! I love creating and helping people and bringing ideas to life. I never want to lose that part of myself, because it’s one of my gifts.
But lately I’ve realised the lesson isn’t really about my schedule. It’s about the story underneath it.
The Story Beneath The Story
When we start healing, we often focus on changing our behaviours. We set boundaries, learn to say no more often. We take holidays and create better routines. Those things are very important. But eventually, healing takes us deeper.
Eventually we have to look at the subconscious beliefs driving the behaviour. For me, that meant looking at some uncomfortable questions.
Why did I feel the need to keep pushing?
Why was slowing down so difficult?
Why did productivity feel safe?
Why did achievement feel reassuring?
Why did rest sometimes make me uncomfortable?
The answers weren’t in my calendar. They were in my conditioning. The unconscious belief that hard work equals worth, and that achievement means I’m doing the ‘right’ thing. The subconscious belief that if I keep striving, I’ll be loved and appreciated. The shadow belief that if I do enough, I’ll finally be enough.
Those are much harder patterns to change because they’re often unconscious. They’re woven into the deepest fabric of who we think we are.
A Different Kind Of Success
Something interesting has been happening over the past year. The things that used to matter so much don’t seem quite as important anymore. Not because they’re bad, because my priorities are changing.
I’m finding myself craving peace, depth, and most of all, presence. I’m in need of deeper connection and simplicity. A slower pace and a calmer nervous system.
A life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks successful from the outside.
And while that sounds beautiful, it’s also deeply confronting. Because whenever we shift identities, our ego gets nervous. The old version of us wants certainty and familiarity. It wants to stay with what’s known. Even when what’s known isn’t necessarily serving us anymore.
The Real Work
This is the deeper work I find so fascinating. Not changing what we do, but in changing the relationship we have with ourselves. Learning that worthiness isn’t something we earn, or that rest isn’t something we have to justify.
Learning that our value isn’t determined by our productivity or that being loved isn’t contingent on being useful. These aren’t mindset shifts that happen overnight.
They happen layer by layer. Lesson by lesson, time after time again.
The Lesson That Keeps Coming Back
These days, when a lesson comes back around, I don’t see it as failure, but rather as an invitation. It’s an opportunity to look deeper and to understand myself more honestly, without judgement.
To notice where old patterns are still running quietly in the background. Because healing isn’t about becoming a perfect version of yourself. It’s about becoming more consciously aware of yourself. 🤍
Ready To Go Deeper?
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone.
Many of us are carrying unconscious beliefs around worthiness, achievement, safety, boundaries, emotions, and self-trust that quietly shape our lives from behind the scenes.
These are some of the exact themes we’ll be exploring in my upcoming 10-week transformational program, where we’ll combine mindset psychology, emotional awareness, nervous system regulation, Reiki healing, and spiritual growth to help you understand yourself on a deeper level and create lasting change from the inside out.
