Don’t take it personally!
One of the most liberating lessons I’ve learned on my healing path is this: Don’t take things personally because nothing anyone does is ever really about you.
I know – that can be a tough pill to swallow when someone lashes out, criticises you, or seems offended by your truth. But the more you understand that people see the world as they are, the easier it becomes to stay grounded, protected, and free.
We see the world as we are
We each experience life through the lens of our own mind, beliefs, emotional history, and upbringing. When someone speaks – whether kindly, cruelly, or indifferently – they’re revealing their own perception of the world. Even if their words are directed at you, they’re speaking from their own story.
The danger comes when we believe them
When we believe what other people are saying, we absorb their energy, internalise their projections, and unknowingly lower our vibration. This is where energy hygiene becomes so essential, because words hold energy. The word ‘Love’ carries a high, expansive frequency. ‘Hate’ is heavy and dense. If you let someone’s unkind words enter your energy field, you are really taking in the energetic weight of those words.
The Ego Wants to Make It About You
It’s so easy to take things personally due to the nature of our ego. Our ego is always on alert, trying to keep us safe. It wants to be right, liked, and in control. When someone challenges our sense of self and our identity, our ego reacts in defence and in fear, thinking it’s under threat.
Ego vs Higher Self
The antidote? Soften the ego’s grip and connect with your higher self. This part of you sees the truth clearly. Your higher self reminds us we are all connected, and all made of the same energy source. Your higher self doesn’t take things personally because it doesn’t need to prove anything. It simply is.
People Are Always Projecting
Here’s the thing: when someone judges or insults you, they’re not describing you. They’re revealing their inner world. Their fears, wounds, hurts and pain. They are revealing their own inner judgements – of themselves. It’s a projection, whether conscious or not. Your job is to not catch it, swallow it, and carry it around.
Your internal agreement is allowing them in
If you believe their words, you give them access to you. Through your internal agreement with their words, you are actually allowing their thoughts to filter into your own mind and energy. And if you respond with defensiveness, you’ve now entered into an energy exchange. If this pattern continues, you can even create an energetic cord – a kind of invisible umbilical connection through which energy leaks and flows both ways.
This is especially challenging if you’re a people pleaser. Wanting everyone to like you might have once been a survival strategy—fitting in, keeping the peace, feeling safe. But energetically, it leaves you wide open. Constantly adjusting yourself to make others comfortable is a fast track to energetic depletion.
Heal the Cracks Where Energy Leaks
So what do you do instead?
You heal. You tend to the parts of yourself that are still raw—your abandonment wound, your “I’m not good enough” story, your fear of being alone or misunderstood. These are the energetic cracks through which other people’s projections enter.
Don’t take it personally
When you’ve healed those wounds, someone can throw a judgement your way and it just… doesn’t land. There’s no opening for it to seep in. You’re no longer an energetic match for their negativity. It’s easier to remain neutral and see their judgement for what it really is – a projection of their own fears and pain.
Healing helps you seal your energy field. It helps you release subconscious blocks that are draining your energy. Healing helps you raise your vibration, and become a magnet for kindness, authenticity, and truth.
My Story: From Fear of Judgement to Full Expression
When I first started my Reiki business, I loved it, but I was scared to talk about it. Social media was intimidating and overwhelming. My family and friends weren’t really into spirituality, and I was worried they’d judge me, think I was “weird”, or just quietly pull away.
With time—and a lot of inner work—I started to let go. My bestie, Marie, came on board to help me with my socials, and she encouraged me to share more, speak up, and show up. Trusting her guidance and with her reassurance, bit by bit, I started posting, writing, and eventually sharing openly about my experiences… including things like my crazy kundalini awakening, starseeds, and light language. All the “out there” stuff that actually feels completely natural to me.
Freedom!
Yep, some people drifted away. I got a ton of blank faces from people who didn’t get it, or didn’t want to know. But what I gained was so much more. A community of like-minded souls who get me, who see me, and who support me. Letting go of people-pleasing and worrying about what others thought of me, cleared out the relationships where I dimmed my light or walked on eggshells – and made space for true alignment. It felt so much more free to truly be myself.
The Takeaway?
The more you prioritise your inner healing, the less reactive you’ll be to other people’s projections. You’ll be able to hold space for others in a grounded, neutral way, without absorbing their emotions or making their opinions mean something about you.
You’ll feel safer, clearer, and more empowered in your body and energy field. And most of all, you’ll start to experience the true freedom that comes from living unhooked from the expectations and judgements of others.
Reiki + Coaching can help!
If this resonates with you and you’d like support to shift your mindset, clear your energy, and stop worrying about what other people think, I invite you to book a Reiki + Coaching session with me here.
Or, if you’re ready to go deeper into Reiki healing and strengthen your mind and energy from the inside out, join me for Reiki Level 1 on 4th & 5th October. It’s a powerful initiation into the world of energy healing, and into yourself.
Stop taking things personally, and start living a lighter, freer, and more authentic life.
