Making peace with yourself
Making peace with yourself isn’t just a feel-good phrase—it’s a radical act of self-acceptance. True peace comes when we’re willing to look at all aspects of ourselves, not just the shiny, socially acceptable parts we’re proud to show the world.
Our hidden aspects
We all have parts of ourselves we prefer to keep hidden. Some of those we’re aware of—like past mistakes, regrets, or traits we feel ashamed of. Others sit deep in the subconscious: buried emotions, painful memories, unresolved trauma. Whether conscious or unconscious, we keep these aspects hidden for a reason. There’s usually a painful emotion or limiting belief attached: shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear of judgment, or fear of vulnerability.
But here’s the truth: when we try to hide things from others, we’re often trying to hide them from ourselves.
Own your light AND shadows
When we own all parts of who we are—light and shadow, joy and pain, wisdom and imperfection—we free ourselves. We begin to reclaim power over the parts of ourselves we once felt ruled by. And when we’ve made peace with those aspects, there’s nothing anyone can say that can truly shake us. Why? Because we’ve already processed and accepted the emotional charge underneath.
My younger years
Let me share an example.
I’ve always needed alone time to decompress and recharge. But during my teenage years and twenties, I pushed myself to go out constantly. I filled up my days, said yes to every invite, and tried to be endlessly social. Deep down, I craved connection, and I didn’t want to feel like I was missing out. But every time I came home, I was exhausted.
What I really loved—especially in winter—was sitting in front of the heater, eyes closed, just resting. But instead, I drank too much alcohol (which only left me feeling flat and embarrassed the next day) and stayed out late to fit in with my friends’ social lives. They wouldn’t go out until 9pm, and all I wanted was dinner and an early night.
I didn’t understand myself
Back then, I didn’t understand myself. I hadn’t yet learned about introversion, or how different nervous systems need different things. As I started studying psychology, personal development, and MBTI, I first thought I was a mix—maybe part introvert, part extrovert. But as time went on, I realised: I am an introvert through and through.
Making peace = acceptance of who I really am
I love solitude, nature, reflection (hence this blog!), and meaningful conversation. I still enjoy going out and connecting with people, but I don’t thrive in big crowds or noisy environments. When I finally accepted that part of me, I made peace with myself. I stopped forcing myself to be someone I wasn’t.
Even when a friend once called me “boring,” and it stung for weeks, I eventually saw it for what it was: a projection of his extroverted personality. Of course our lifestyles would be different. I no longer needed to change who I was or try to be someone I wasn’t to be accepted. That’s what making peace with yourself looks like.
Self rejection blocks self acceptance
It’s not just about personality types. It’s about all your “hidden parts”: the past choices you regret, the things you’re ashamed of, the parts you wish you could erase. The more you get to know these parts—the more you meet them with compassion, forgiveness, and truth—the freer you become.
Because no amount of external validation can fill the hole left by self-rejection.
It’s only when we accept our shadowy, messy, emotional, vulnerable parts that we can find true inner peace. When we do, we stop spiralling in guilt or shame. We stop fearing judgment. We feel grounded in who we are—because we’re no longer hiding.
A Simple Process to Begin Making Peace With Yourself:
Get Honest.
Write down all the aspects of yourself you’re currently hiding—past experiences, behaviours, beliefs, patterns. Don’t censor yourself. Be radically honest.
Name the Emotions.
What do these hidden parts bring up for you? Shame? Guilt? Embarrassment? Regret? Sadness? Fear? These emotions are what’s blocking your acceptance.
Feel It to Heal It.
Acknowledge the feelings. Let yourself sit with them. Let the emotion move through your body. It might be uncomfortable, even confronting—but it’s also liberating. As long as you avoid these feelings, they will quietly run the show from your subconscious.
Practice Compassionate Acceptance.
You are a human being—with both light and shadow. That doesn’t mean excusing poor behaviour or staying stuck in the past. It means seeing your whole self clearly, making changes where needed, forgiving yourself where you can, and choosing growth from here.
Stop Taking Things Personally.
Everyone is projecting. Everyone. When you’ve made peace with yourself, you no longer need to contort yourself to gain approval. You stop people-pleasing and start living from your truth.
Need support? Book in for Reiki + Coaching
You deserve to feel light, free, and at peace. That comes from within—not from how others see you, but how you see you.
If you need support to work through the parts of yourself you’re hiding—whether consciously or unconsciously—I invite you to book a Reiki + Coaching session with me here. It’s a safe, non-judgmental space where you can share what’s on your heart, clear limiting beliefs, process emotions, and most importantly, realign your energy.
When your emotions, energy, and nervous system are back in balance, you’ll feel lighter, more confident, and deeply at peace with who you are.
You are worthy of that peace.
Let’s find it together.
