Where Are You Projecting in Life?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to point the finger at someone else when you’re upset or triggered?

“They made me so angry.”
“That driver ruined my day.”
“If she hadn’t said that, I wouldn’t feel this way.”

We’ve all said things like this. But here’s the truth most people miss: when we react strongly to someone or something outside of us, we’re often projecting our own unresolved emotions, wounds, or beliefs onto that person or situation.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but a powerful one.

What is projection, really?

Projection is when we assign our inner emotional experience—thoughts, judgments, pain—onto someone else. It’s a defense mechanism that helps us avoid looking at something uncomfortable within ourselves.

Rather than sit with our discomfort, we externalize it. Instead of asking “Why is this bothering me so much?” we tend to judge “Why are they like that?”

But what if the world around you is actually mirroring the world within you? What if your triggers are the breadcrumbs leading you straight to the parts of yourself that need healing, compassion, and attention?

Triggers as Teachers

Let’s look at an everyday example. You’re rushing to get somewhere important, feeling tense and anxious. Suddenly, another car cuts you off in traffic. Your blood boils. You beep your horn, maybe yell out loud, full of frustration (can anyone relate?!).

In that moment, it’s tempting to blame the other driver for how you feel. It’s his fault, he’s a bad driver, if only he would drive with the flow of traffic! But take a closer look: would you have reacted the same way if you were calm, on time, and well-rested?

Probably not.

The truth is, the emotional storm was already brewing inside you. The car simply pressed the button. The real source of your reaction was your own stress, and your own decisions earlier in the day—maybe you snoozed your alarm, underestimated traffic, or overbooked your schedule.

The anger and the frustration—those are your emotions. The car just brought them to the surface. And that’s the beauty of triggers. They reveal what’s already inside you.

Why This Matters

When we blame others for how we feel, we give away our power. We unconsciously adopt a victim mindset where our emotional wellbeing is at the mercy of the world around us. But when we take responsibility for our emotional reactions, we reclaim our power. That doesn’t mean we blame ourselves. It means we get curious about our responses. We self-reflect, and ask deeper questions. This curious mindset leads to growth.

How to Stop Projecting and Start Taking Responsibility

Here’s a four-step process to help you catch projections and shift into empowered self-awareness:

1. Recognise when you’re projecting.

Start to notice when you’re blaming someone or something else for how you feel. The clue is in your language:

• “They made me feel…”
• “If only they hadn’t…”
• “That situation ruined…”

Instead, bring it back to yourself. Say: “I feel angry.” Full stop. This simple shift reminds you: it’s your feeling. Once you claim it, you take back your power.

2. Ask why you’re really feeling this way.

Dig deeper. What’s underneath the surface?

• Is your reaction out of proportion to the moment?
• Is it touching on an old wound, insecurity, or unmet need?
• Is your environment (lack of sleep, hunger, stress) intensifying it?

For example: “I feel angry because that car cut me off” becomes “I feel angry because I was already stressed and behind schedule, and this just added more pressure.”

Now you’re getting somewhere.

3. Release the emotional charge.

Once you’ve acknowledged the feeling, let it move through you.  Take some deep breaths. Go for a walk. Run it out. Pump the music up loud. Journal it. Cry, or scream into a pillow. Do self-Reiki! Whatever healthy outlet works for you, let the energy move. 

Emotion is energy in motion. In our lowest state, we tend to project it onto others (especially those closest to us). But in our highest state, we can consciously release it in a healthy way. Emotion wants to be felt and released—not bottled up and suppressed. 

4. Reclaim your power by taking responsibility (not blame).

Ask yourself:

• What can I learn from this?
• What might I do differently next time?
• Where can I take more ownership of my experience?

For instance, maybe next time you set your alarm a little earlier, leave more margin in your day, or check in with your stress levels before heading out. These small acts of responsibility build a deeper sense of internal stability and power. 

Why This Practice Changes Everything

When you stop projecting and start taking responsibility, amazing things happen:

• You become more emotionally grounded.
• Your relationships become healthier and less reactive.
• You stop feeling like a victim of your environment.
• You learn to self-soothe and respond, rather than react.
• You move through life with more grace, curiosity, and compassion.

And perhaps most beautifully, you become a kinder, calmer human to be around. You break cycles of blame, defensiveness, and unconscious reaction—and that ripples out into every interaction you have.

A Final Reflection

The next time you’re triggered, pause. Instead of launching outward, turn inward. Ask yourself:

• What is this situation showing me about myself?
• What wound is this poking?
• What part of me is asking to be seen, felt, or healed?

This shift in awareness is simple—but not always easy. It requires humility, courage, and honesty.

And that’s where practices like Reiki can be a powerful ally. Reiki healing helps to gently bring emotional blockages to the surface, so they can be felt, understood, and released in a safe and supportive way. It calms the nervous system, clears energetic residue from past experiences, and creates space for deeper self-awareness and healing.

Whether you’re looking to understand your emotional triggers, release stagnant energy, or learn how to support your own emotional regulation more deeply, Reiki offers a beautiful path inward.

Ready to go deeper?

Book a Reiki + Coaching session to explore and transmute your emotional triggers with support. Or join a Reiki Course to learn how to work with your energy and emotions in a healthy, empowered way. Start with Reiki Level 1 (coming up on 12th & 13th July!). Transform your triggers, examine your emotions, and heal together in a safe environment with support. When amongst other people on a similar healing journey, there is a depth of understanding that can help on levels that go well beneath the surface. I look forward to supporting you, and if you have any questions, contact me here.