Comparison is the thief of joy
Do you sometimes feel like you’re behind in life? Are you secretly envious of others’ successes or relationships? It’s a normal, natural thing to see other people and compare ourselves to them. We can more deeply understand ourselves in context to others. Humans are also social creatures. We have an innate ability to mirror and match others, and we often do this subconsciously. However, how we feel about others is actually a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.
Take back your power
The more we understand and know ourselves, the less swayed we are by what other people are doing. The moment we doubt ourselves, lack confidence, or wish we were different, is the moment we give our power away to the external world around us. If we can accept ourselves exactly as we are (warts and all), we reclaim our power back. Once we take ownership of who we are, we can start to shift out of jealousy and needy energy, into a position of acceptance, strength and awareness.
We are mirrors of each other
The people around us are always mirroring aspects of us. What we see in others and how we feel about what we see, is within us too. For example, I have a friend who is super generous and is always willing to go above and beyond. I truly admire her ability to give and her open heart. The cool thing about this is that because I see this in her, I know that I also have this quality in myself too.
Self awareness is not always pretty
However, the reverse is also true too. I have another friend who is also super generous, but his boundaries are weak and he overgives to the point of exhaustion. The fact I see this in him, means I also have a tendency to do this too! When I see him overdoing it and getting burnt out and sick, I find myself getting angry and annoyed. However, he is my mirror, and the fact I get triggered by this means I also do this myself too. This is something I am actively working on. The wonderful thing is once I start creating better boundaries and saying no, my energy starts to shift, and the people around me will shift and change too. I start noticing different qualities in people. And then the process starts again.
Pay close attention
We can learn a lot about ourselves if we simply pay attention to what we are thinking and feeling about our friends and family. It’s easy when we see the positive qualities in people! But what about the negative ones? The things you complain about in other people, especially the things you get triggered by, are likely within you too. We are not stuck with them however. Once we become aware of these negative qualities, we can start to consciously change them.
Confronting or empowering?
Depending on the way you think, this knowledge about mirroring can either be confronting, or empowering. If you have never done an inner work before, it can be quite triggering to the ego! However with some deep reflection (and perhaps some Reiki + Coaching!), your perspective might shift to one of empathy and understanding. No human is perfect, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Once we realise that everyone around us is mirroring us, we can start to release judgement. Instead we can welcome every aspect of them, knowing what they have within them is also within us too.
Comparison is the thief of joy
‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ is a term that gets thrown around a lot. However it’s not ‘comparison’ that is the thief of joy. Rather how you think and feel about the other person is really revealing how dissatisfied you are within yourself. These negative feelings you might be experiencing can either drain your happiness (and your power), OR you can use these emotions to light your path to consciously shift your perspective.
Look for the positives!
If you want to feel better about yourself, a little trick is to write down all the positive traits you see in other people. Perhaps you can see generosity, loving kindness, humour, or intelligence in your friends and family. You also have these things within you too! Start by recognising your own positive traits, and build up your confidence. You might even like to write yourself a letter, expressing these positive traits, and reminding yourself of how amazing you truly are.
We are all human
In addition, you might also like to write down a few negative traits you see in others. Although this means you likely have them within yourself too (especially if writing them down stirs emotions up!), by recognising that other people have them as well, it shows that you, just like everyone else, are human. We all have positive and negative traits. No-one is ‘perfect’, or rather, everyone is perfectly imperfect.
The path to self awareness
Comparing yourself to others is not a bad thing. We can use other people as context to more deeply understand ourselves. By listening carefully to your thoughts, and tuning into your feelings, you can uncover more about yourself than you probably ever realised! In this way, instead of ‘comparison is the thief of joy’, perhaps we can turn it into ‘comparison is the path to self-enlightenment’.
Need support? Book in for Reiki!
If you are someone who can’t stop comparing yourself to other people on social media or in your life, and you need some support to break the negative looping cycle, book in for a Reiki + Coaching or Reiki healing treatment here. Or, if you’d like to learn more about self reflection and doing the inner work, book in for Reiki Level 1.
Reiki Courses to dive deeper
Reiki courses are not only just about Reiki. We do a deep dive into your mindset, the ego, and the energetics of your internal self. After Reiki Level 1, you’ll come out not only with the tools and skills to Reiki yourself and clear your energy, but you’ll have a greater understanding of who you are. Ready to learn more? Read about our upcoming Reiki courses here.
