Dealing With Christmas Triggers
Dealing with Christmas triggers is never easy. We can be triggered by so many things around Christmas and the holidays. From family dynamics, food and alcohol, loneliness, grief, religion and faith, money, and more. Of course Christmas can be a source of joy, happiness and gratitude too! But for those who are feeling triggered, you are not alone.
My personal feelings about Christmas
I personally don’t get too excited about Christmas myself. As a kid I loved it, the Christmas tree, the pressies, spending time with family, and of course the food! But as I’ve gotten older, I don’t have kids, and none of my close family in Melbourne have children either. My cousins and family are often travelling, live interstate or abroad, or doing their own thing. Our wider family dynamics have changed a lot over the years, with some cracks beyond repair. Losing loved ones also makes things harder.
Turning Christmas around
In saying that, what I’ve found to be helpful in dealing with Christmas triggers is to take back control of the day, and choose how I want to feel. I’ve realised that I don’t have to succumb to negative thoughts and feelings. Instead, I can choose to make the day what I want it to be. Here are some tips that have helped me, and hopefully can help you too!
Choose enjoyment
Making a conscious choice to enjoy something (anything!) about Christmas can help shift your energy into fun and positivity, even if it’s just for an hour. We forget sometimes that we get to choose what we want to think. By shifting our focus, we can shift our emotions and mood too. For example, I don’t usually like cooking, I find it very stressful. However, recently I’ve decided to choose to enjoy cooking! I asked a friend to teach me how to make banana bread, and I’ve been posting about it on social media. I make jokes to lighten the mood, and it also keeps me accountable and having fun along the way. Choose something to enjoy about Christmas, and watch how it transforms the way you feel.
Make Christmas work for you
I’ve realised that instead of just doing what I thought was expected within the family, I get to choose what I want to do instead. I say no to events that I don’t want to go to, and limit my time at others. I thought Dad’s unit was too small to host Christmas, but as it turns out, our family has gotten smaller anyway. Last year he hosted Christmas, and I actually really enjoyed it (even though I was suffering pain and gut issues and couldn’t eat any of the delicious food!). We got to control the narrative, and made it what we wanted it to be. Because it was at Dad’s house it was more comfortable for me, and I felt safe. My nervous system could relax.
Make food that you like to eat
I’ve always felt like a black sheep in terms of my diet in my family. I was the only vegetarian for 12 years or so. That was fine, but all the meat on the table was very triggering at the time! I now eat meat again, but over the last 10 years I’ve suffered so many gut issues that have made it immensely challenging at events like Christmas. I’ve become very good at self-control and restraint, but it’s never fun to be around food I’m not able to eat! I keep reminding myself to ‘do something today that my future self will thank me for!’. By eating clean and according to what my gut can tolerate, I’ll wake up feeling so much better the next morning. It’s my Christmas mantra!
Grief and loneliness
Dealing with Christmas triggers such as grief and loss is always hard. Mum passed in 2014, and there have been other family members that have passed too. I also miss my sister a lot at Christmas, as she now lives in the UK. On top of that, I won’t lie, being single kind of sucks at Christmas! However, in spite of all that, I feel grateful for the family I do have. I feel grateful for my friends, my clients, my business, and other connections I have in life. I feel immensely grateful for Spirit. Feeling grateful is the key to healing grief and loneliness, so I consciously spend time focusing on everything I feel grateful for.
Support for you
Christmas is full of triggers for many people. For some of course it’s a merry time and a happy celebratory occasion! However, if you need support, I’m here for you! You can book in for a Reiki healing or Reiki + Coaching session here. I have some Reiki resources online here to help you too, or another blog with ‘5 tips for surviving Christmas’ here. You can also always email me if you’re in need. I love hearing from you! I’m taking a couple of weeks off after Christmas to reboot my system, but I’ll keep posting on socials, so you’ll have me there if you’re feeling low. In the meantime, choose enjoyment, focus on what you can control, and consciously practice gratitude. You’ve got this!
