The Four Words That Changed My Healing Journey

There are four simple words that completely changed my healing journey.

When I was young, every time I felt anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, or emotionally activated, I’d think to myself:

“Why am I like this?”

“Why do I cry so much?”

“Why can’t I just get over this?”

Sound familiar?

The problem wasn’t that I was asking questions. The problem was that I was asking the wrong ones.

Looking For Answers In All The Wrong Places

When I was going through my kundalini awakening, my life felt like it had been turned upside down.

Everything I’d relied on for certainty seemed to disappear overnight. My body was breaking down. My emotions were massively heightened and intense. Old fears, memories and patterns were rising to the surface faster than I could process them.

Like so many people, I went looking for answers. I read books, listened to podcasts, googled endlessly. I asked other healers, and spoke to friends. All I wanted was for someone to explain what was happening to me, and how to make it stop.

The more information I found, the more confused I became. Because everyone had a different opinion.

Then The Questions Changed

In all my client sessions, one of the questions I’d ask them at the beginning of every session was: “On a scale of 0–10, how are you feeling today?”

Followed by: “What’s one thing that would move you just one point higher?”

It’s a simple question, but it’s incredibly powerful. It gently shifts the focus away from fixing everything all at once, and towards understanding what’s needed in this moment.

The funny thing was… I became so used to asking everyone else that question, I forgot to ask it of myself.

In that heightened kundalini state, I was desperately looking outside myself for answers. But eventually when I stopped and sat with myself, I started asking myself that same question: “in this moment, what do I actually need?”

Instead of trying to fix everything all at once, I started becoming curious about what my body was trying to tell me, and what it needed in order to feel more calm and regulated.

Most Of Us Were Never Taught To Listen

Most of us were never taught to listen to our bodies. We’re taught to solve problems, push through, be positive and think logically.

Very few of us were taught how to pause long enough to ask what our body, emotions and nervous system are actually trying to communicate.

Instead, we often judge ourselves. 

“I shouldn’t feel like this,”

“Why am I so emotional?”

“Everyone else seems to cope better than me.”

Without realising it, we start fighting the very part of ourselves that’s trying to get our attention.

Every Emotion Is Trying To Tell You Something

One of the biggest things I’ve learned over the years is that emotions aren’t the problem. They’re messengers.

The anxiety, frustration, anger, and loneliness all carry information. The emotion itself isn’t asking to be fixed. It’s asking to be understood.

What we need in one moment, might be different to the next. Sometimes we need rest, other times we need to speak our truth and set clearer boundaries. Sometimes we need space to grieve, and other times we are really needing deeper connection and someone to truly listen. 

The challenge is learning how to recognise what you actually need in each moment.

Google Can’t Tell You What You Need

These days, if we don’t know the answer to something, we Google it or search AI.

And if you typed “What do I need?” into Google, you’d probably get about eight million different answers. Some would tell you to meditate, others to journal, to go for a walk or drink more water.

None of those things are necessarily wrong. But none of them know you.

Google and AI doesn’t know your history, your nervous system, your innate subconscious beliefs, your childhood or your personality. They don’t know what your body has been trying to tell you for years.

That’s something only you can discover. And when you do – that feeling is truly empowering.

This Is The Journey I’m Most Passionate About

This realisation is one of the biggest reasons I’ve created my brand new 10-week online program, The Sovereign Self.

Not to give you all the answers. But to help you ask better questions.

Together, we’ll learn how to understand your emotions instead of judging them. We’ll explore the hidden needs beneath your reactions, the subconscious patterns that keep repeating, and how to tune into your own body and inner wisdom with greater clarity and self-trust.

Healing isn’t about someone else telling you what you need. It’s about learning how to hear your own answers. That’s the thing that changes everything 🤍