When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore

When you don’t feel like yourself anymore, it can be incredibly confusing.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “I don’t even recognise myself anymore?” 

Not because you physically look different. But because something inside you has changed. The things that used to matter don’t quite matter the way they used to. The conversations you once enjoyed now feel strangely unfulfilling.

The goals you spent years working towards no longer excite you.

You find yourself craving slower mornings, deeper conversations, more time in nature, and a sense of peace that achievement alone never seems to provide.

It’s a strange feeling. Part of you wonders whether something is wrong. The other part quietly knows…

Something Was Changing 

I know this feeling, because it happened to me too. Earlier this year, I found myself thinking: “I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

I remember saying those exact words during a phone conversation with someone I was dating at the time. It wasn’t because of the relationship. It was because something much deeper was happening inside me.

The life I’d carefully built no longer fit me in quite the same way. It wasn’t dramatic, and there wasn’t one big event that caused this internal shift.

It was more like a quiet knowing that something inside me was changing. At the time, it was so hard to explain with words. All I knew was that I didn’t quite recognise myself anymore.

Then My Body Spoke Even Louder

The strange thing was, even though I could feel this shift happening internally, I wasn’t actually changing very much on the outside.

I kept working and pushing, and trying to make everything fit. Part of me desperately wanted more space in my life, but I felt stuck. 

I wanted slower weekends…but I also didn’t want to give up seeing clients on Saturdays. I needed more space and room for a relationship and a life outside of work…but I also didn’t want to let people down. So I stayed exactly where I was. Not because it felt right, but because it was safe.

Then my body made the decision my mind wasn’t ready to make.

Too Much Stress

I developed the worst mouth infection I’ve ever had. The pain was intense, I had massive panic and anxiety, and emergency dental appointments. It was terrifying.

On top of that I was so confused. I’ve been seeing the dentist every 6 months for years. I brush, floss and do everything right. 

Then I was told that the mouth infection was caused by stress. That shocked me.

I realised then just how much stress I’d actually been carrying without fully acknowledging it. Trying to fit everything in, holding space for clients all day, processing my own experiences, navigating a new relationship after kundalini trauma, and my sister had been here visiting from the UK too.

I was trying to keep everything running smoothly. But the truth is, my body had been whispering to me for months before the mouth infection happened. I had just been too preoccupied to really listen, and too scared to make the changes my body needed.

Until eventually…It stopped whispering.

Making Changes

In the weeks that followed, I really started listening to my body. I started saying no to social outings and events that I didn’t have capacity for. I made a decision to stop seeing 1:1 clients on Saturdays.  

I decided to put my body and health first at all costs. 

Saturdays have always been my busiest work day. Letting it go honestly felt terrifying. But for the first time, I just knew something had to change. And in reality, it wasn’t actually about Saturday work anyway.

For years, I’d unknowingly linked my worth to how much I could do, and achieve. I love helping and giving…but I was always giving to others, and not giving back to myself in the way my body actually needed. 

The version of me that always had to keep going had helped me build a beautiful business and a life I’m incredibly grateful for. I love that version of me!

But she was also exhausted. She’d carried me as far as she could. And now, another part of me was quietly asking to lead.

Not a version of me that cared less, but a version that finally understood that peace wasn’t something I had to earn.

Growth Often Feels Like Loss

This is something I don’t think we talk about enough. Growth can feel like grief.

You’re not just leaving behind habits, you’re letting go of identities. The people pleaser, the perfectionist, the rescuer, the achiever. The one who always has it together.

And even if those identities were exhausting, they were familiar and helped us survive. So when they begin falling away, it’s completely normal to feel unsettled and sad. And it’s important to honour those parts of us, and our emotions too. 

Maybe You’re Not Losing Yourself

When I was grieving letting go of who I was, to step into who I was becoming, I realised something interesting. I wasn’t really losing her. I was integrating her…and becoming more.

I wasn’t really ‘letting her go’, but rather learning to love that version of me, fears and all. Rather than pushing her away, I welcomed her into my heart. 

The idea of growth is not to throw some part of us away. It’s actually about becoming more: more aware of our light, our shadows, our fears and limiting beliefs… We don’t lose a part of us (especially the part that made us who we are today). 

We simply gain more.

This Is Why I Created ‘The Sovereign Self’

Over the past few years going through a huge kundalini awakening and identity shift, and then again going through yet another identity shift earlier this year, I’ve realised something. So many people are walking through this exact transition. And it’s not something that happens once in our lives – it happens time and time again.

Through awakenings and identity shifts, we start to question old beliefs, re-evaluate what really matters, and heal old wounds. We often feeling disconnected from the life we once worked so hard to build. Not because we’ve failed, but because we’ve outgrown an old version of our Self.

This is exactly why I’ve created my 10-week online program, ‘The Sovereign Self‘. Not to help you become someone new. But to help you understand the person you’re already becoming.

In this program, we explore the psychology of change, emotional awareness, and nervous system regulation. We’ll look at subconscious patterns, communication, boundaries, Reiki healing and spiritual growth – all within a grounded framework that helps you make sense of what can otherwise feel confusing and overwhelming.

On top of this, learning self-Reiki can also be a highly valuable tool to help you tune back into yourself, understand yourself more deeply, receive insights and understandings beneath the surface.

Sometimes the most courageous thing we can do is stop trying to become someone else, and finally come home to ourselves. 

Ready to learn Reiki Level 1? The next Reiki 1 Course is coming up on 12th & 13th September – read more here. I’d love to see you there.